Emo-ing

Sigh…

This sem results is really totally totally unexpected.

I’ve put in extra effort this sem, make sure i understand all the concepts and stuff, do many past exam papers.

But results turned out to be one of the LOWEST and LOUSIEST ever!!!

I had this naggy feeling days before. I refused to check my results at 12am on the dot because I know I will never get to see it because of lousy server that jams up at 12am or I just won’t be able to sleep later on because of the lousy grade.

I’m glad that I went to bed.

So, I checked my results in the morning and I realised my hands were actually shaking quite badly.

I should have just stick to what I said and not check my results till Sunday because I really really really had a hard time at work trying to stomach the whole fact that extra effort leads to worse results!

Sighhhhhhhhh.

I’m alright now. I’ve accepted the fact that my learning peak has long gone and is in the state of increasingly diminishing. yes, go on laugh if you want.

Results no longer means a thing to me. I no longer compare myself with others. No use comparing when I’m not the top student anymore. But I cannot deny the fact that the society thinks results are everything.

AND I CANNOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MY RESULTS STILL SUCKS AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK I PUT IN!

Sometimes I’m really glad that my mum never forced me to study, or to give me extra pressure to be a top student in school. But somehow, I felt very guilty. The guilt for not doing well, to make her proud, for letting her think that I’m still doing well in school. The last time I talked about my grades was my TCE Exams. I think that’s the proudest results I ever produced.

Now, I dread going to any family gathering or whatsoevery where people ask about my exams now. I don’t want to be reminded of my yucky results that probably no one else  in the entire bis school can match.

Sometimes I wonder if I had really choosen the wrong course. Am I really the cut to study bis? Do I really want to be and auditor/accountant? Why the hell is yr12 accounting so easy?

There’s not much use telling me to try harder next 2 sem.

I’m in the middle of nowhere, seriously.

monday blues

i’m having monday blues even before monday arrives.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

22

just like any other normal day…

Thanks to everyone who remembered.

Rah

Today marks the last day of holiday.

Internship starts tomorrow.

matrix card 不见了！

Omg!

I misplaced my matric card.

addiction

i feel so weird not looking/trying/buying shoes when I’m out shopping.

luckily I’m disciplined enough to get just when I NEED and leave the mall and came straight home.

Now I regretted because….

I should have gone back uniqlo and get that v-neck top but i didn’t bring along the 10% discount coupon.

And i forgot to collect my Zingrill membership card (again!), and activate my kopi bean card.

I remembered to bring the parcel out to the post office, and realised its a public holiday today!

PLUS I FORGOT TO BUY CHICKEN FOR SILLY BOY!

RAH~

sad

It’s very sian to look at shoes everywhere but no money to buy.

beauty tips

read from someone’s blog that a bottle of toner should only last for 1 month.

and I had been using mine for like almost 3 months and it’s still have 1/4 of it left.

tsk tsk.

falling sick again :(

I’m getting that stupid dry cough + running nose again.

Oh nooooooooooooooo~~~

sian

I’m left with 1 week of holiday.

PA starts officially on Monday and I still have nothing much to wear!

and im turning 1 year older in 11 days.

time to meet up with bear and penguin soon.